Border Dispute

I can honestly say that the list of people whom I've wanted to strangle with a Canadian flag is short.

Elder W, however, quickly made the cut. He kept a giant maple leaf flag over his bed, which I eyed with murderous intent every time he made some sort of claim about Canadian superiority. It wasn't that I hated Canada. Elder W was fond of telling people he met that it was Canadians who burned down the White House during the War of 1812 (which, I suppose, is technically correct, though the arsonists were in fact British lackeys who happened to live in Canada, a land collectively lacking the balls to follow the example of its southern neighbor and declare independence). 

When Elder W got wind that anyone had a problem with him, he would lament that people disliked him because he was from Canada. I contend that people hated Canada solely because of him. In fact, I believe that if Canada is ever embroiled in a major war, it will be because someone came away from a disagreement with him.

I suspect now that I really never had a problem with Canada before this and I have no legitimate beef with them today. I think the land of maple and beavers became a scapegoat for me after repeated disagreements with one of its citizens.